“How to be Employed by FairGamers” A Joke by Lefty Loose Lips

December 31, 2009 by  
Filed under A Look Inside

“How to be Employed by FairGamers” – A satirical article written by Lefty Loose Lips

Go to the FairGamers Metroplex Headquarters. Look at the job postings on the job board located just outside the men’s bathroom down the long hall. Go to the end of that hallway to the Human Resources Division and ask for Beulah. Tell her who you are and that you would like an application for the janitorial job you just saw outside the men’s room job board. It might be a good idea to bring your own plunger and mop to effectively demonstrate your ability to be able to clean the toilets and floors of said men’s room. Be sure to go into the interview with a positive can-do attitude and scrub the toilets with such enthusiasm they would be foolish to not give you an opportunity.

Do not be discouraged. If you don’t first succeed Martin, try and try again. Find the next toilet. Just because you don’t get the job the first time, come into it with the attitude you will make them have to say yes to your efforts. I suggest not stopping with just one toilet, but spend hours impressing. Scrub em all on that floor. Then go to each floor and do em all. First floor all the way up to the 15th. Leave the top penthouse floor alone. That would be Cain and Widows quarters where a private staff is employed. You have to work your way up thru the ranks for that job. Entry level for you at first. But scrub your off. If you allow anyone to tell you that you can’t, you will fail miserably.

After you have cleaned all toilets, I suggest maybe some window washing if time allows. Then, just before leaving, go back to the 5th floor to the end of the hall and ask for Beulah again. Take her a vase of fresh flowers this time. Place them directly on the corner of her desk and tell her you haven’t given up. It is your dream. It is your lifelong passion to be employed with the organization that has taken over the web and at this point in your life a janitorial job within the organization would be stellar. Explain your mother would be proud and if necessary, shed a tear. Show some passion and emotion. Beulah would need to see the determination, perseverance, and dedication shown to you being the chosen one for the next janitor job opening.

You can do it Martin. Think of the little choo-choo story you heard as a kid. “I think I can, I think I can…..”

This satire brought to you by Lefty Loose Lips

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